Plumb Sauce

So when I was in community college this guy wrote a short story about donating blood - and he referred to the blood as "plumb sauce." The teacher was impressed out of his mind, but I guess you have to take what you can get when you're teaching English 101 in the afternoon at community college.

I tried to give some plumb sauce today. I tried to be a hero. You know that guy who is nervously laughing and making stupid jokes while in line for the really big roller coaster? That was me. I was a complete idiot, but I was trying to take my mind off the fact that shots make me pass out and needles make my stomach turn. I passed out in less than three minutes.

I like to call it passing out because saying that I fainted sounds really pansy. Brave, macho men do not faint because they are weak and frail, they pass out because they thrust themselves into incredible danger to rescue many helpless bystanders from certain doom. But it was cool cause they gave me extra cookies.